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Originally Posted by stopdog
I apologize if I have ever name-called. I do not recall doing such.
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Don't be sorry. I specifically said it was not you who was name calling. You have criticized me quite roundly, but you have not called names.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I do not believe I have told anyone how they do therapy is wrong nor do I know what is right or wrong as an absolute. If you are comfortable criticizing how others are with their therapist, then have at it.
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On the occasions I am talking about, today in particular, I did not criticize how another person did anything. I simply pointed out why another poster might have reacted in the manner she or he did. You still reacted negatively to my response. In the past, I have tried to be clear that I am responding to tell the poster how *I* felt when treated in the manner in which they are treating others. I have been careful to not call names or tell anyone they are a bad person. In the past six months or so, I have been more careful about not telling anyone what I think they SHOULD be doing. In the case of abuse, I have been clear in laying out potential consequences of actions or failures to act. Still not the same thing as telling someone what they must do.
Also, is it only criticism of how a person does therapy that is off limits to you? Perhaps that is the distinction that I have been missing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I object to the concept that someone else can know anything absolute about another. I try to couch my language in it being how I see things = not that the other person is wrong in a vacuum. You are completely allowed to do whatever fits with your internal moral code. I may not agree with it. I have not told you to do or not to do anything - I have suggested it is possible for posters to not criticize others who they do not agree with and just move on to someone else.
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This is one of those things that we will always disagree on. An action or inaction that directly results in harm to an innocent animal or person is an absolute wrong for me. I feel silence in the face of actions or inactions that seem certain to harm an innocent is an absolute wrong. What is that quote? All that is necessary for evil to prevail is for good people to say nothing.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I have also suggested that it seems to me to become upset when criticism is not met with open arms of happiness and joy or cries of thank you - is, in my opinion, perhaps having an unrealistic view of how helpful such criticism is - if being helpful is even the real goal.
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Again, I am often trying to help or get the other person to see how their actions are possibly impacting others by offering my experience. I do not see that as criticism necessarily. Sometimes it is, and in those cases, I do not expect it to be welcomed with open arms, but I also do not expect the attacks from the periphery about being harsh or whatever when I have clearly stated that this is MY experience with those same actions.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
But I do not have a problem with me defending that someone else can be how they are or how they post here, without fear of attack, regardless of how I feel about their underlying situation or approach.
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That would be my point here, I suppose. I do feel attacked fairly often when I try to respond to people, even in just sharing my experiences or offering a statement about why another person may have responded in the manner they did. I have severely curtailed how much I post outside of the couch.
I never post simply to beat up on someone. Ever.