(((babs92)))

I understand very well what you are going through. Do what you want about your ties to your mother, but let me tell you that it won't change your longing for the mothering you never had; they are separate issues. Your therapist is right and I hope you will stay with him/her for your own sake. Your crying is real heartbrokenness and it's also part of the grief process, so you are doing just what you need to be doing: mourning.

I am in my 50's and right there with you, longing for mothering. My mother is deceased and I distanced myself from her for many years. I thought I had conquered the longing by doing this, but it is still with me and it still hurts. I just recently began therapy and my therapist tells me the same thing about boundaries and that she will teach me how to provide nuturing for myself. I can't see it at this point, but am committed to hanging in there with her.

I am so sorry for how you are feeling. I know it is exhausting. My warmest thoughts go out to you.

ECHOES