About 2 days after my last post I ended up in hospital… had done a lot of stupid things in a small amount of time and my body basically gave up on me…
I’ve now had an epiphany though… I can’t go on like this; it’s not doing anyone any favours. I don’t want to live this way anymore. Between depression, anorexia and multiple self destructive activities I am going to end up killing myself…

So I have decided to stop…

Decided to actually help rather than sabotage myself for once… so I’m back with my therapist, back taking meds, and this time because I actually want to change rather than I think I should…

As for the self destructive stuff:

Cutting: 4 days
Burning: 6 days
ODing: 10 days
Drinking; 6 days
Drug use: 7 days
Bruising: 6 days

It’s not much but it’s a start… it’s getting difficult though… until about 2 days ago it was going fine, but now the urges are very strong and almost always there

But I AM going to manage it this time… I don’t think I have that many chances left...


I need to move on from all the past stuff... would be far easier if the flashbacks, ect. would stop... but still it needs to be done, until the past is in the past were it belongs I don't see any way of there being a future