Quote:
Originally Posted by ultramar
But if you don't have that IRL and a therapist attempts to fulfill/replace the needs and wants that would otherwise be provided by people IRL, would this not *potentially* lead someone to not seek this in IRL because they already have it? Does this not potentially take away the motivation (and freedom, in a way) to do this?
If you don't have it, why go out and seek it if you have it in your therapist? But since the therapist isn't always going to be there (and as has been shown on the forum, at times, may not always give the same amount of themselves down the road), then maybe not getting all of this from one's therapist can help *encourage* people to at least seek it elsewhere, as hard as it can be to find sometimes?
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Hi Ultramar,
You make a good point. But I am not sure if having that close feeling of care and security from my t would prevent me from wanting that in real life too. A lot of my problem is lack of trust in people and fear of getting close, because I have been betrayed, abused, or misunderstood in the past. Even after several years with my t, i struggle to trust her. So for me, being able to open up enough to trust getting close with my t might be what I need to realize that not everybody is going to hurt or dump me. . .that there are still people in this world that you can trust and get close to. Although it would be hard to give up my t if I had such a close relationship with her, I think that if, by then, I have been able to risk, trust, and attach with her, and then others in my real life, it will be easier for me when I do have to terminate.
Does that make sense?