Quote:
Originally Posted by ocdwifeofsociopath
Based on just the two things I would say its ocd. I would first focus on the guilt and stress you are creating. I swear the more you focus on it and stress the worse it will be to control. If you can not stop yourself from doing something, I would not consider that your fault. We can only do so much. I am on Zoloft, its one if the anti depressants that helps with ocd. Medicine is a help, but does not do it all. Go talk to you're doctor about what's going on what you're feeling. You don't have to get super specific, just the point across. He will have better info on what works best for you. I understand how you feel too and PC had been a lot of help for me  |
First of all, Thank You so much for responding to my post.. I really do appreciate your kindness for your concern about my illness. For medicine, I had various results with them.. Currently I'm taking SEROQUEL for sleeping aid.. (I don't know if it is the right medicine for sleeping aid).. But for OCD, I have tried Prozac, Zoloft, Lexapro.. with various results.. and I have never been on a certain medication for more than 6 months.. I have even tried all three at the same time at some point.. I'm confused right now.. because the medications seem to not work when I'm depressed especially.. Because I had trouble in sleeping and relaxing when I'm depressed, and it aggravates my OCD symptoms.. I become confused as whether it is OCD or Depression is my main concern right now.. For the worst part.. Whenever I'm depressed.. My OCD symptoms would get to the worst until I think I'm so germaphobic that even touching a doorknob would trigger so much anxiety that I couldn't function anymore as a human being.. As a result, I have been staying in my room for almost 7 months with very little interest in anything than remorsing about my past why everytime I'm depressed, My OCD would hit the roof and I become like a disabled person. I want to think of germs not as an obsession.. but whem it gets to cleaning and hygiene especially what it gets into my mouth.., I would be too excessive to the point that I have to wash my hands everytime I want to hold my food with my fingers / hands.. And I really am not sure how clean I am, although I have used such a strict procedure about hygiene (truly germaphobic).. For the past 7 months, I almost feel suicidal.., as this is not the first time I have encountered such depressive episodes.. Almost once a year, when depression hits me, I would come into some major depressive episodes which in turn makes my OCD worse everytime it hits me.. In real life, it is so hard for me to explain what is going on in my head., even to my family or my closest friends.. Indeed I may think that friends could make fun of me if I explain to them about my OCD symptoms.. Which would worsen my condition.. It feels like I am in jail only that the jail is my mind itself.. So, because of this, I am almost unable to socialize well with my friends.. and it may worsen my OCD if i can't do well in society.. I have tried several times when my symptoms are less.. never is symptom free. My OCD symptoms somehow are what define my personality.. I'm a perfectionist, Yes. but when it gets to cleaning until something is germs free.. and keeping my things germs free.. It is impossible, I know.. however, I just couldn't resist the obsessions when it comes into my mind when I get depressed.. until now, I haven't found any effective measures to fight these obsessions and break out of this vicious cycle.. Please anyone who have similar conditions as me would share here.. REALLY THANK YOU for those who will respond to my long and possibly boring post..
That is why I come into this forum and I do really think Psych Central is a heaven for those who will want to share anything about their mental illness.. BIG THANKS to Psych Central..