I would work on my own social and other anxieties if I could; not go to events with your husband unless your husband thought it absolutely necessary. You don't enjoy them and that's not just because of your anxieties, we're allowed to prefer what we prefer.

I would try to visualize what I would like from such events, when I attend? I know with my husband's work parties, I found a wife I could talk to and at dinners and other events I would look for that person. Of course, that didn't work perfectly, that couple got divorced after only an event or two that the two of us were together

I also sort of asked my husband's help and/or depended on his judgement. People who like my husband, I figure, are going to like me? What is it you like about your husband (not "love" but "like"?); look for that in people who your husband enjoys (like you :-)

I was vague or quirky, as necessary, when I came up against accomplished people; I either talked about my reading or educational interests or grabbed something I was doing that was a little unusual (I bought a piece of a race horse, probably the tail; it was later sold as a "pet" :-) and my husband enjoys my unusual or quirky interests and often will bring them up and talk about them with pride. Who wouldn't want a wife who owned a race horse? LOL

It wasn't that big a deal but it is different from the stressful one-up-womanship of jobs and professional accomplishments? I'd develop a hobby you are really interested in and get good at it and then it won't matter, your confidence and interest in that subject will show and you won't remember to be anxious and others will be interested and asking you questions, etc., wanting to know more.