LC - are you trying to make your space "our" space instead - or do you want your space? If so, it may be that directness and boundary setting are going to be required. Are you and W trying to remain a couple or become friends? Are you still engaging with her because you want her or because she is familiar and comfortable?
I am not suggesting there are correct responses, just seeing if you are choosing for yourself, or just letting things happen?
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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