You know the saying, "you have to kiss a lot of frogs..." ... Therapists are like that too, but keep looking & there is a right match out there for you! I've been where you are, trying to find therapists or new pdocs, it can get so discouraging when they turn you down, and I felt rejected!

Do they have Mindfulness Therapists in your area? That was a great type of therapy for me, mixed talk therapy with teaching me to tune into my body & listen to what body telling me & new meditation techniques. She was really good. It got hard sometimes, the week in between sessions was good to give me time to process what we'd just done in session.

About hubby... I've learned men want to fix things... When we tell them a problem or our feelings - their go-to place is "I must fix this!" Then he internalized it and freaked out and made it all about him, cuz it's not something he can fix!

So, what I say when they start going there is, "I'm not looking for you to fix this for me, I know you want to help, but it's not something easily fixed. I just need you to listen & let me vent & helps me process what I'm feeling... and thank you for being here and caring about me."

You're really hanging in there & motivated. The right therapist can be a miracle worker, or they help you find the miracle worker healer within - you were right about what a difference a day can make. Bipolar is so fun right... We should always try to remember, this feeling right now, as intense as it may be, might be a little better tomorrow, or at least different. Or even if it is just as intense feeling tomorrow, I might be able to react or process it in a different way. I am inspired by your efforts and proud of you!