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You're right. I should talk to her about it and I would if I could. I guess I am worried about it but not in the immediate future. I worry if I'll make it to age 25 or if I'll have given up by then because I can't keep going on like this. It's great that I'm holding on for my friends but what happens if they leave me or that doesn't become a good enough reason?
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Do your best to focus on today. Today, you've said you have friends who care and can be there for you, and a T who cares and can be there for you. And you have all of us, who care and can definitely relate to your pain. Today, you are richer than many. I don't say that to make you feel bad about wanting to give up--your pain is real, and you have every right and reason to wish it to end. But today? You have resources and are loved.
Let tomorrow remain where it will always be: in the future, out of your reach. Today, you have human beings who can look in your eyes and see someone worth loving. Today, you still find reasons to hang on. Take a deep breath, maybe go out in the sun and let it warm you, and keep your focus on this moment, this day.