i have a lot of time when i feel like i am in a glass jar looking out on the world, but the world can't get to me, the emotions one should feel are outside my jar so are not within me, this is a reaction to abuse, it is the way my mind deals with the hurt and pain it brought to me. a kind of self preservation, if i keep those feelings outside my jar they can't hurt me anymore, like wise if i keep people outside i can't be hurt by them either.
only sometimes the lid gets loosened and the odd person is allowed in for a short time untill i panic and push them back out again.