I thought I was fine, but my recent nightmares have proven otherwise. So here goes...

A few months ago I had two totally amazing friends, girls ages eleven and thirteen. Unfortunately, I wasn't enough to keep them around... They were both getting really severely bullied at their respective schools, and it really tore me to pieces when my eleven year old friend started cutting and wouldn't stop. Around the same time, they both killed themselves. The only other friend I had at the time was hit by a car at fourteen and didn't make it to the hospital. Shortly after that, a friend of hers latched on to me and I let us get pretty close, but she killed herself too...

Their ages bother me more than anything else, and what totally amazing people they were. Now I've got my first male friend, and it's pretty clear that he has some problems too. I don't know what I'm going to do if I lose him, but after I stopped talking to people most of those who used to enjoy my company decided that I'm a jerk and just completely ignore me now, which means that he's all I have. I don't know how to handle this anymore, and I'm not sure if I want to...