Yikes! So sorry he flipped the switch and became This guy, but So Happy that you sensed it wasn't a good fit and didn't get into something more committed. You did not lie, you were honest & the real truth hurts.
I am so proud of you!
You did not ruin his life. You have done nothing wrong. He is being abusive & acting out like a petulant child, lashing out at you anyway he can. The idea is to hurt you, and it is working. He wanted to control you & you took that away. Now he wants to make you pay for his pain.
Please don't have anymore contact. Try to put this learning experience behind you ...
You may have something there with the cats ...just don't be a cat-lady. LOL

My dream relationship would not be the standard one. I'd love to have a committed partner who doesn't need to 'own' me, is not jealous, has his own place, Has A Life, is totally devoted & faithful to me. So that when we get together, it is because we both want to be there. No pressure, no drama. Just contented & happy. And Fun...
Finding that is a needle in a haystack as No one really gets not 'moving to the next step'. What's wrong with this step...?
That's what I'm sayin'...
Best to you ...