Wow. I don't even know where to begin. My normal mental state is that of numbness. It's almost surreal and I feel no connection to anyone or anything around me.

However, if I take a Xanax, suddenly EVERYTHING changes. My feeling of connection to society comes back, I begain enjoying the little things and suddenly I feel like a healthy, productive member of the human species.

With Xanax, my mind can feel and articulate my internal suffering well. But without it, my mind is so flooded with anxiety I would never have the energy to post this.

Has anyone ever experienced something similar? Is there really hope? I'm in tears right now because the feeling I get from Xanax is so beautiful and NORMAL.
Any insight would be appreciated.