Quote:
Originally Posted by A Red Panda
I understand Innerzone. The odd time that someone actually treats me like that, like I'm somewhat worth the effort? I don't even know what to do and tend to end up a crying mess because I feel SO BAD that I must have been so miserable that they actually felt like they had to do something about it and just want them to go away because I don't want to be ruining their day - I have utterly no idea how to actually handle someone treating me nice...
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(I see you chose a new name! Red Pandas are SO cute!!!)
So hear you on this! I turn into a choked up mess too. It's very awkward -- like a foreign language I don't know how to speak. I'm totally guilty of keeping people at arms' length (which is easy). From there they think I am funny. Weird, but funny. The rest of me can be a whole lot harder to take.
Can't believe it's been a week. Monday was rough. Big flip out first thing in the morning. So agitated that if I'd had a gun, I wouldn't be writing this.. Could not deal with going to work. And didn't. Very shaken up. Over the weekend, I hadn't taken my meds, being wiggy about it (the pharmacy generic switch, but I didn't take any of the other meds either), not the least reason of which was no real safety net. Buuuut, this was very likely to have caused Monday meltdown. It was really hard to shake off, and left me one seriously mortified penitent. It was just me flipping out on stuff and myself, not people, still, it wasn't pretty, there was plenty of fallout, clean up, and apologies to BF, who had the great misfortune to witness it. Wake up to it even. Oy.)
Since then, things have all in all returned to normal (including taking my meds!). Did get triggered this evening, throwing me into a situational funk. But am currently pushing past it. Determined to have a nice night relaxing at home.