it sounds like you have some people that care about you, even if its not your family. if they lean on you for emotional support as you stated, lean on them. that's what friends are for.

i am not against suicide and believe people have the right to make that choice.. i am struggling myself. there are some people that have no-one that would care. i have no-one.
and we each have the right to end our suffering. but if you can say i have some friends as you have, let them help you. you matter to them and they matter to you. i hope you feel better.