Quote:
Originally Posted by iam2ys4u
I need some support regarding psychotherapy? I have gone to therapy off and on for a lot of years and to a lot of different therapist. I feel that with the different diagnosis I have had throughout my life time, I would have done things differently. I also believe that at different times in my life and depending what was going on is how I chose my next decision as to what I needed to do.
I have a very good relationship with my physciatrist and have been with him for many years. We have worked long and hard for me to finally be on medication that is working great for me at this time. Being on the right meds was always a priority for my well being. My pdoc recommended some therapist that I have gone to, but I always felt that the medication was most important.
When I started seeing someone for therapy I would go, but I never stayed long enough with one. I would go until I thought I got enough out of it and I would quit on my own without going back. But, I feel like I have missed a lot from not starting with issues of my childhood and really getting answers from what is the reason for my long time problems. I have always dealt with what was going on in my life at that time when I would see a therapist. When I got enough answers and felt better about myself I felt like OK I am done and that's how it was for many years.
For the first time in many years I am feeling the best I have in such along time! I wish I could have understood what therapy was all about. I know I got a lot out of it, it helped me with the situations that I was going through at that time.
Now with being older I wish I could have had therapy to understand how it has effected my life over the years. I still feel like I have a lot of unanswered questions to life, BUT it is too late and I should have figured it all out by now because as old as I am. I always felt like I needed therapy for what was going on at that time and never really got help for WHY things were going on because of how I was raised. I also feel like if I would have been taught answers to life's situations from reliable, responsible parents growing up and being able to depend on them growing up, I would have done things differently. To this very day I feel like I missed out on a lot of parental advise that would have helped me through life and instead of just living my life...I STILL DWELL ON MY CHILDHOOD and how it has effected my whole life and I still feel sorry for myself.
At this time in my life I feel that it is too late or that I should have learned to let it go and not let it still bother me. Shouldn't I have learned this by now, through my life time to just let it go? Then why do I still feel like I do? I am suppose to be an adult at this time in my life.
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Gosh I can relate so much to what you've said here. I also wish I had found a therapist like my current one when I was much younger. But I'm grateful to have found her now. I am 60 and have been with my current therapist for 6 years, and we have talked about the things you are talking about - lost time that can't be recaptured, missing important things in my childhood and that they can't be provided now in the same way, and how I feel inside as if I'm a teenager. I've also talked about being ashamed for feeling sorry for myself, but she doesn't see it that way; she encourages me to accept all of me and not judge myself.
Therapy has helped me to also accept when I am focused on something ("can't let it go") and we talk about it. We talk about it as many times as I want to talk about it. What happens for me is that I have periods where I get focused on the affection I never had, and wish my therapist could provide that. I know she can't, and we talk about the wish and she is so accepting and understanding, and with time, talking about it relieves the wish as if I am getting the affection, but in the way of attention and attunement and acceptance.
I hope you are talking to your therapist about everything you wrote, because it is all so important - you are important!
I encourage you to copy your post and post it below in the forum so you can receive more replies