I might actually contend that you are not attached enough, or at least not stably, to your therapist. It's the "on again, off again" attachment that is causing the pain.

If you stay with it, I think it will resolve out into a very comfortable thing - at least it did in my therapy.

There IS an incredible push/pull in therapy that can be outrageous. The therapist is there, they aren't, there again, not there etc....

It's hard to figure out exactly who and what they are. What is the relationship? It's crazy making and makes no sense. Even my therapist freely admitted that it's insane.

However, it does seem to be a brilliant insanity because once that pendulum reaches the middle, and is still, the feeling of connection and attachment is very pleasant.

It's just a streetfight sometimes to get there.

I have absolutely no advice on how to make it easier (and I don't think therapists do either). In your case, negotiating a months absence is going to be tough, but it may help to recall the times when your therapist was there and how it felt in that moment.

All I know is that I just, for some inexplicable reason, just kept going and kept leaning into the relationship.

It worked. The pain will resolve.