Well it's not exactly a bad second date.

First date goes amazingly well (we have so much in common and we are very attracted to each other) BUT I am not sure the guy is serious. The next day he was a bit uneasy, which was almost cute so I asked if he maybe had things to do and he left very relieved. For me that was the end of it. You know, nice night and fun conversation and just forget about it. I am a cautious person and we barely knew each other. Just a fling basically.

He mentions a party the same evening where we can meet but it sounds like a casual meeting so I don't really listen. The afternoon, I decide "hey, why not, let's see where it leads". I ask him on skype (yeah he's very social so half the people in a room have his skype) for the name of the place. He keeps me like 30 min on there to talk about the music he likes etc... It's interesting and fun and I decide to go to the party.
He seems very keen for me to come.

He arrives, comes to me and says hello with a nice smile and... completely ignores me.
When I tell him it's rude, he says he doesn't understand and that we are not married :-O
The evening turns into a disaster, because I'm pissed of course and he makes half-hearted efforts to show me he cares but it feels not like something he wants to do but "how do I keep her from being pissed".
At some point it gets too much and I leave without saying anything.

The next day I feel a bit bad at my childish behavior. Yes, I was rightly pissed but I should have stayed relaxed and told him I was leaving.
He says he's horrified about my reaction. It was a nightmare, that I was very far from a perfect person (gee). He's angry but pretends he's not. After talking about it he seems to soften down a bit. He says it's over and I shouldn't analyze it anymore, that we were good.
He doesn't see anything wrong with his. I took most of the blame because it was pointless to dissect the situation that early in a dating process (although was there one?). He broke up recently with someone which doesn't help but that doesn't mean he's into me either.

A few days later he said he moved on, and wanted it to be "casual", "with talking to the other people in the room" (whatever that means), he wants to forget the bad evening, "why not", but it will take time, so I said "ok then, let's forget it then" but he wouldn't tell me if he meant "moved on" from the dispute or moved on from the idea of "us" (not that much to move on from). Impossible to get a clear answer.

He said he was into me before (like 24 hours long) but not anymore because of the terrible evening at the party. When I said "should we forget about it then?" he told me he couldn't take a decision now. Yeah right.

We have seen each other once again on a party by chance (well he knew I was there but it doesn't mean he went for me) and it was civil, almost friendly but pretty weird. He ignored me most of the evening. First he talked with a girl next to me then he physically moved further away during the evening. I stayed cool and equally friendly to everybody. I enjoyed myself at the party, had a few good laughs but of course it was affecting me so... One guy you seemed to fancy me a bit (too young) said "well you're trying but I can see that something is stressing you" (well I hope my former date didn't notice that I was laughing a bit too hard at some people's jokes).
I talked to him briefly about his job and this and that. He was almost aggressive towards me. He made even fun of me in a kind of cruel way at some point before catching himself. He flirted with 2 girls in a very unnatural way clearly for my "benefit".

I guess he's afraid I want a relationship and is trying to disgust me. I don't think he was trying to make me jealous. I know he does care a bit but I really don't think he was that into me. When I said "let's call it just sex then" he protested loudly. Although all the many compliments he made in the beginning were all linked to sex or appearance. I know he liked my mind but he didn't make compliments about it.

What should I do now? We are in similar clubs and we go to the same events. 1) Should I stay away from all the events?
2) Go but don't talk to him at all,
3) Talk to him casually and pretend I don't notice his efforts at keeping me at a distance. Distance myself inside.
4) Write him a note explaining that I was glad we could talk again and tell him I know full well he's not into me and that's ok, we'll find someone else and explain that if the weirdness stays I'll just stop the contact?

3 has my preference although I wonder if the aggressive tone will go away. Yesterday he barely said goodbye. He demonstratively grumbled like he didn't give a ****.

Now he's in "I want to have fun", "Yeah, party time" modus. I have the feeling it's a new chapter in his life and not sure he's actually interested in any relationship.

I am tired of all this. We did have a lot in common but I don't think he ever was into me. I am distancing myself inside. Thankfully I never really believed he was interested.