I agree with Perna again! Love is a tricky thing. Unfortunatley it has a tendency to form without all of the facts about your spouse. When those facts come in after you have bonded yourself to her, people like you (committed till death through good times and bad), people like you become stuck.

There was a fantastic movie with Robin Williams where the women he loved ended up manic and he refused to leave her even though it meant he too would end up much worse, and he made this choice knowingly. The movie portrayed it as a beautiful love thing. And the this act of love triumphed and they were both saved.

but in reality, people aren't "cured" by some single act of sacrifice by the abused. You would really be committing to a life long sentance of this drama. If you love her that much, that you are willin to put up with her manic swings, which now include cheating on you, then why bother asking for help here?

The hard alternative is surgically severing the love bond. this is something that I have never done. it is very hard. For most people, it happens naturally when thier spouse cheats on them. but for guys like you and me (committed till death through good times and bad), it takes a concious, sad, regretful, and perhaps even guilt ridden action.

Good luck with your choice, brother.