Antimatter, I'm so sorry you're feeling the same. It's rubbish isn't it? We've almost got through another day so at least that's one positive.
Syra, unfortunately I will be travelling all over the world for 3 of the weeks. For the first two I can email or Skype, but unfortunately when I've tried that I really don't feel connected and now have the common sense not to put myself through it. I used to but realised long term it hurt me more. Being away in several different countries also means hotline out of the question so will need to be really looking after myself.
Leah, your t sounds wonderful. I have asked mine to write a letter in the past and I think I will again now. Someone on here once suggested asking her to leave a message on my phone answering machine which I may try. I have a weeks break then two sessions on consecutive days before big break and I have a feeling I am going to have to address this. Not something I am looking forward to.
I just want a life where I'm not in any kind of pain, either mentally or physically, a life where I don't often think of ending it all. A life where I'm not scared. I'm beginning to think maybe this is not possible and I'm angry at t for making me think things could be different. It's not like these things have only been happening in the last few years. They have been with me for almost 40 years. I just want a break