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I wouldn't jump to the conclusion that she has bipolar disorder (why the assumption, when she hasn't been diagnosed?); she would need to be evaluated by a psychiatrist for that (sounds like she's not going to, though).
She clearly has issues with jealousy, and out of control jealousy does not necessarily mean she's paranoid; there are plenty of people who are excessively jealous without being bipolar, psychotic, etc.
Overall, she seems to have issues with emotion regulation and close relationships. Whatever her diagnosis/es might be, it sounds like if this is going to work, you will need to go into couple's counseling (and she go into personal counseling). If that's not going to happen, it's sounding pretty bleak. Sorry you're going through this -good luck!
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