I can't listen to my mother tell me "If I knew he would die, I wouldn't have had any of you" or "all I need to do is die" when I ask her to take her meds and "maybe I'll go join him" or "I am going to become an alcoholic"

I am depressive, I am un-medicated. I am terrified and sick and alone and no one at home cares (family friends...nothing) because I am the care giver. But now I am alone.

He had to die, of course he did. And now I am stuck picking up the damn mess he left. And yes I am angry at him because it wasn't fair.

Everyone expects me to rescue them. Yet no one wants to god damn help rescue me.