I have severe Thanatophobia or fear of death. A lot of this came from when I was 16 and saw my Grandmothers body (2007) in the ER after she died from pancreatic cancer. This was my first encounter with death up close. It's so extreme that I have panic attacks about it. I cannot stop thinking about the fact that when I die I will cease to exist and stuff like "Carpe Diem" "Religion" and "Well you won't know because you won't exist" have never helped me. I just feel like an alien on this planet. I feel so......other. I wish I believed in something. I almost envy religious people that have something to hold onto in this life. However I am far too rational to ever believe something without proof. Oh, that's "faith" right? Sorry, guess I wasn't created that way