Growlithing, taking that initial step to getting help is tough...we resist. But try to listen to your friends on this site....go get some help..don't be afraid.... remember what I said in my post...death is irreversible.... there is absolutely no turning back, I know you don't want that. Don't let the depression get the best of you....fight back!! Go to a local hospital, talk to someone there...it is a much better alternative! I'll be sending you good energy .