Freewill, I can identify with part of what you said. Although I've never been physically abused I know what it feels like when there's no one you can go to who would just hold your hand and tell you everything will be all right. I can recollect only two times someone had embraced me: first - August this year - a girl I worked with, after a farewell party in a pub; second - when I was in high school, Easter time, my teacher who I met accidentally in a bookstore. It was brief and I'm sure it meant nothing to them, they are very outgoing people with lots of friends, but it meant everything to me and I will never forget it.

---- " God would never burden you with a load he knows you can not handle. " -----

If that's true why do people commit suicide? They do it because they CAN'T handle the pain.

Personally, I don't believe God has anything to do with it. I believe we live many times and that we plan our lives ourselves before we are born, so we can try everything, experience everything. One time you are happy, another you are not. And this lifetime happened to be the unhappy one. There is a good chance that next one will be better.

So, Freewill, I know these brackets are not going to help you in any way because that's human contact you need so much but
((((((((((((((((((( HUGS ))))))))))))))))))))
and I hope one day you find someone who will be able to fill this emptiness.

sparkling