That is really sweet. Sounds like a nice memory to hold on to. Pets are always special, they're never "just" guinea pigs or cats or whatever. I used to have a cat when I was a kid and I will always remember the way she slept on my lap when I was studying. Maybe you could get another pet when you overcome her loss?

I'm so sorry for what you went through... Ah, we all pay for our parents' sins(or our parents' insanity...).
Don't let your past ruin your future. You deserve better. I'm sure life will reward you with a man like you wish and that you'll be finally happy with him and your kids.
Don't give up.