Oh Rose, I am so sorry to hear this news from you. I thank you from the bottom
Of my heart for responding, and I will sincerely pray for you and keep you in my thoughts. God bless you, and again thank you.

QUOTE=Rose Panachée;3189731]((((Baker)))) dear...I am sorry I wasnt able to respond sooner. I have been grieving for the loss of my boy, and also dealing with a lot of emotions regarding my job.

First and foremost, the most important thing is to take care of you and baby. Whatever you have ro do.

I am sorry things arent great at home right now with H. I hope you will find some peace there soon. Stress really can have an affect on your and baby's health.

It took a lot of strength and bravery to confront your mother. She can pray for you and baby until the cows come home but basically I think all she is doing is not being there for you. Continuing to not be there for you. And leaving it up to a higher power to take care of things,.so she doesnt have to deal with it. It is her way of showing you, your own mother, that she is limited and will not and cannot be there for you.

I believe so strongly in the power of prayer and love when it is genuine and caring. Hell, I never would have made it these past months without it.

But I have to be honest, if my mother said that to me, without lifting a finger or making any sort of effort, I would be hurt, insulted and furious. You deserve more sweetie.

The only problem is, every person has limitations of what they can do. It isnt their fault, it is their sickness. And when it comes to family, it hurts x 100. And all the tears, those crocodile tears... they mean squat. They arent meant for a lost relationship. They are meant for the person (our mothers) crying for their own perceived victim selves. Making it all about them. Once again.

Please stay strong and dont fall for the trap.

At the same time, I encourage you to stand up for yourself and speak up for yourself.

I know how much you want to go to T. It was a gift straight from heaven for me. I was finally able to put some perspective on things and then focus on my own growth. If you can, go now. Forge a trusting bond with a lovely T that will nurture you and support you before baby is born. A mom figure would be ideal. It is crucial too that you express that you are very depressed and stuck in a cycle of pain. It will be more important than ever to have that support after baby is born. For both of you

Please keep writing and reaching out and giving us the opportunity to support you.

Perhaps you CAN start a new thread, too, like I did for Kitteh "The daughter / mommy that could"

Rose[/QUOTE]