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Originally Posted by Favorite Jeans
Hey MKAC, are or were you a really diligent student or otherwise high-achieving type? Do you feel like if you were "better" at therapy you'd have just gotten it on the first shot? Do you worry about sounding crazy perseverating on the same topic or that it's your job to keep your T engaged and he will just get bored of you if you can't keep providing fresh material? Or is the topic itself humiliating for you?
I bet there's something worth exploring behind the feeling that it's humiliating to have to keep talking about the same thing!
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I was a very good student and only on a couple of occasions needed to have things repeated to me in order to understand. I was pretty severely beaten when I needed instructions repeated at home, so I learned to pay attention and think quickly. Calculus and chemistry in college, and not understanding things the first time sent me into a full blown meltdown several times. In addition to hating to repeat myself, I hate having to have my T repeat himself to me. I should have gotten it the first time. Also, I find these topics humiliating in the first place so saying the same horrible thing twice is, well, horrible.
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Originally Posted by stopdog
So does what those people refer to as "processing" mean simply telling it to them or is it something else? and if "process" means say it aloud to a therapist - then why don't they just say so? Because I think the term process means more and that it would take longer than once makes sense, if they just mean speak it aloud to the therapist, then the repetition is annoying.
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For me they are different things; it's true. I should be able to say it out loud to him, talk about it, think about it on my own (the processing part), and then be done. Not being able to be through it or done with it the first time is upsetting and annoying.