MKAC I'm so sorry that happened to you. I hope therapy provides you with a relationship where you get to be loved and cared for even if you don't get it "right" the first time. I'm trying to learn to be forgiving of and patient with myself too. I actually find it harder to do that than to revisit painful memories.
Maybe imagine that you're rehearsing a play. You've learned the lines very quickly--you're good like that. But it takes awhile to get the expressions and inflection and timing. At each rehearsal you get to know the character you're playing a bit better. Understanding your role is more than just knowing your lines right?