Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
You did lose your "cool", but you also gained a lot of good things. You just aren't yet able to see that.
Keep afloat!
|
Thanks Nat!
Quote:
Originally Posted by healingme4me
That is the thing, about learning to love another. It is about letting your guard down, being vulnerable isn't easy.
That 'in love' part, it's where there can be a blending of the fantasy and reality. And it's about learning to figure out how the other person fits into your life. Many say, there's a difference between being in love and loving another. Unfortunately, there's no clear cut definition.
So, you keep uttering those three little words, but write that you don't mean them?
Insecurities, that's a tough one. On some level or another, even the most confident, self-assured individuals can have little moments of self-doubt. What is it about this relationship, that leaves you feeling insecure?
When you say, you lost your 'cool', what happened??
|
well, I've loved him for quite a while (in a different way thou).. we were best friends before we started dating. Only recently I realised that I'm in love as well.. So, now I found myself having rrrrreally strong feelings for him..
I said 'I love you' to all my exes.. and for a while I even believed I did, but in retrospect I can see it was either lust, or I was smitten or my long-term mdma abuse.. Or it simply was convenient. I wasn't very nice to those guys. I even had to have an apology spree at some point..
I am usually pretty confident.. know my value and won't settle for the second best, etc.. But in this relationship.. ugh there's loads of issues. I mean, he's got loads of them. The worst thing is that he's been hiding it for years, and now it all exploded. On me. Right in my face. And since I already invested a lot and I kinda really attached to him, I can't just tell him to bugger off.. I want to help him, I want to make it work. I don't know how though.. I'm gently suggesting therapy, but he is resistant as of now.
The funniest thing though, he was so good at hiding his problems, that I thought 'Oh look how cool I am! Finally found an emotionally stable guy who won't go mental on me'.. Yeah, right...
How I lost my 'cool'.. well, since I never truly loved anyone, I was always able to step back and observe.. and, if needed, manipulate the guy the way I wanted. But with him it's different. Since we were best friends to begin with, there was never any manipulation or lying.. basically I did everything differently, cause he is not like everyone else.
Now I find myself pretty much drowning in all those emotions I never felt.. getting really needy and clingy.. emotional and teary over nothing.. blah..
Quote:
Originally Posted by Okiedokes
These insecurities that you have, maybe you two can talk about these so the other person is aware of what's going on and be able to help you relax a bit.
Love can feel bad if it's unrequited. If it feels too much for you, maybe you can take a mental step back. One thing about love and relationships is never lose yourself. Be who you are and do the things you enjoy while enjoying time spent together too.
|
talking about my insecurities just makes them worse.. cause of see ^^^
I think I am losing myself.. and I don't know how to control it.. It seems to me I'm getting a bit obsessive.. Idk.. I should really just calm the feck down.. If only I knew how