((Teen Idle)) - they say a parent losing a child is the worst pain, so its understandable how this has impacted your mother. I hope she'll realize she has to keep going for the living. Probably she's consumed by this pain - is she in grief counseling or maybe a parent support group. Since you're a caretaker you obviously are independent, but be aware you may me the rescuer type. You deserve credit for being supportive and you'll move out when its time. Its natural to feel extra sadness on anniversaries and birthdays. You're good at expressing yourself. Sorry you're suffering.