I feel your pain angrymanic. I myself have bipolar and am in somewhat similar situation. My long time girlfriend of three years lived with me during my unmedicated and undiagnosed manic rages. Since then I have become medicated, joined a support group, go to counseling... but still the rift remains with us.

Women are difficult for even normal non-bipolar men to understand, let alone us with a disease that so vividly alters our reality. But if anything can be said truthfully is that women remember with their emotions. The times we yelled and screamed vile names at them, when we threw things around and punch walls and slam doors: They do not see a person suffering from bipolar, they see a man that is hurting them. And that is how it is remembered, a time of hurt and suffering where the person whom they loved with all their heart met their love with hatred and aggression. And, obviously, that is a very hard emotion to get over.

In the end there is nothing you can really do but give her space and keep her informed of your progress. It is ultimately up to her and how she perceives you. Maybe the good you do now with your treatment will slowly help erase those negative feelings from her mind. Maybe they are so strong that she will never forgive. It is a painful feeling knowing you pushed you loved one to this point. I am in such a position currently not knowing if the damage I caused is permanent.

Your in my thoughts, angrymanic. Good luck