mdmgtraini remember days like this. what I remember most is how harshly I would judge myself for being so weak at not being able to cope. the biggest step to healing I took was learning to accept me for me. I adopted the pharse "this is normal for me" for times like this because I felt so freakish, I needed to tell myself over and over again that I was having a perfectly normal response based on my history. I learned not to beat myself up trying to pinpoint the whys, just accept that something triggered it and I didn't need to know why. I just needed to nurture myself as I had this perfectly normal for me response. and soon, as I had these "perfectly normal for me" responses, I stopped panicking about them, I was able to identify them as normal quicker and breathe through them easier and today, they don't stop me in my tracks any more. I cant tell you the last time I had a panic attack or dissociated. perfectly normal for me has become perfectly normal. it takes time, but it works. good luck.