Hi I'm Dymphna and I was just officially diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder, bipolar type.My family expected it, but I wouldn't admit it. Now I don't care so much about the diagnosis, just so long as the symptoms can be treated successfully. I'm really scared about what's happening to me. Sometimes it feels like I have no control over my own brain. I've been through so many jobs, may lose my current job because I can't keep up. I've been homeless once and scared that will happen again. I'm currently going through a psychotic episode, but at least right now I'm still able to remain aware in in reality. I'm scared I'm going to be hospitalized again. I've been hospitalized briefly 6 or 7 times in the last 7 years and have been misdiagnosed several times all these years. I've had nothing but bad luck with psychiatrists who wouldn't listen to me. Have a new one now and some hope things will be different this time. I've been sick like this as long as I can remember and even tried to kill myself several times. I'm so worried I will never have a normal life. I'm blessed to have a therapist fighting beside me every step of the way though. She has been my only hope in this whole ordeal. I used to be a very intelligent person and feel like my IQ is nothing now, but she gives me hppe that I can and will go back to college and succeed. Anyway, thank you for reading and for your support.