(((Buttercup))) - I don't know how I missed this post and so sorry you're in crisis. Anniversaries of a loved ones passing are so tough. You did the right thing calling the nurse and don't think its stupid. Better to be safe than sorry. Keep sharing here and let us know how you're feeling. Do whatever you need to feel better and safe. I tried to find a link for your country:

Suicide Prevention | Directory | Patient.co.uk