that is very nicely put, in that you FIRST care about your partner's choices and only then, secondarily, about yours. Very very nice, indeed, and commendable.

To George - people who rationalize their behavior typically simply cheat while citing any law of nature that fits comfortably. Many go much further by rationalizing cheating for themselves while using a double standard with their spouses - a very common scenario in ostensibly monogamous couples.

HT is not doing any of that.

That said, the natural/unnatural talk is probably not the most helpful due to the fact that "natural" is so poorly defined and so much abused as a word (cyanide is natural, too, but we still should not consume it). HT, can we talk about it without referencing the laws of nature? Because if we try so hard to be natural, we might just end up without the Internet - the Internet is not natural.