Negative self image is one of the meanest aspects of depression. It seems to be present in every depressed person's posts that I have read here. It's a symptom of a disease---it's not the truth. You have friends here. We care about you. We value your words. You've been supportive for many on this site and that makes you very valuable. If it is possible maybe you can do something like this in your community. Just a little something that makes you focus on someone other than yourself. It really helps me.
Also, if I understand correctly, you've given up on getting your meds sorted out. Please keep trying. If you can change dr. maybe you can see another dr. or a psych dr. It took 2 years to get my meds good. Please keep trying.
PM if you want. I'm here if you need me. I may not have any answers but I do care.