Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster
I do not know what kind of a discussion you expect to ignite, though - as stated, the thread's strongly worded title does not allow for a discussion, because, quite clearly, you cannot both love a person and force anything against their will. It is another thing when both people want to be mutually monogamous (which comes with its own can of worms, but at least does not involve force). Yet another thing when one partner asks, nicely, for sexual exclusivity. That request can be entertained. But "force"?..
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There are different levels of force. I don't mean physical force, obviously. Your partner is not generally following you around pulling you off people you are about to have sex with. However, if I were to put a gun to your head and say "sing Yankee Doodle or I shoot you" then that would be force. It is giving you a choice between something highly undesirable (death) and something you just simply don't want to do. Similarly, if I say to my girlfriend or wife "Don't have sex with anyone else or I will leave you" that is force. Presumably if she is my girlfriend or wife in the first place, she does not want me to leave her, so she does what I say. That is force. And yes in a
lot of relationships, there is one person in the relationship who really wants monogamy and another person who feels forced into it for fear of losing the relationship. Both people are just victims of socialization, though. The monogamous person doesn't really know
why she wants monogamy and the person who doesn't really want it doesn't really know
why he feels like he has to accept monogamy. It's just that that's the only option a lot of people have ever even considered.