My ex was basically my best friend. She is now saying that she is in denial about me having bipolar because it seems unfair for me to have that added ontop of everything else I'm going through. And is now trying to play a sympathy card so I come crawling back like I did every other time. Which makes me ferl like I'm a horrible person for even thinking about leaving her for good. I know that it's a bad relationship all around but I keep thinking about the good times. The other girl I'm more worried wouldn't know how to handle things when I go off in either direction or the impulsive actions.
As for the doctor she knew about the side effects and told me to keep taking them because she want going to switch me. I'm now on my way to a completely different clinic in a few hours. My main concern is it's the therapist not the prescriber. I'm just worried about then being as bad of a prescriber as she was. I don't feel like they listen they only hear what they want to hear. I've already been in a bad state today where I was playing with the thought of suicide just because it seemed easier then dealing with all of this and being a strain on my family. Still in the that low point but luckily it's just me feeling "blah" and not wanting to really do anything. I just wish there was a magic cure for everything that was a one time deal.
Sorry I'm being lazy and not wanting to add this into the top part. The ex I was with for 7 years. But sometimes I think that I don't deserve to be happy or think that she's right on how could anyone ever love someone who goes through things like bipolar. She claims to never have noticed my mood swings or anything else I did that wasn't "normal" behavior. My mother on the other hand believed I was bipolar since I was 18 along with every other member of my family that started seeing the similarities my father and I had. He was also bipolar.