(((( Buttercup ))))
I don't have words to make this all better but I'm glad you wrote a thread out here on PC. I'm glad you've tried to contact your cpn, even if that isn't working out exactly as out should. You're strong to do these things.
I hope your cpn gives you an explanation for why she hadn't contacted you back.

LynnP has done good things in her post, anniversaries are difficult especially if they were painful when the initial event happened our they stir strong emotions and the link she provided.

My friend I am sending good thoughts and many well thoughts for you And that you find what you need to help you through this all.
s