Hey, I will tell you this right now. Its. Not. Your. Fault. Okay? It's okay if you don't believe me right now, but what happened is not at all your fault. Going by what you said, how you did CPR, how you tried to help, that tells me more about your character than anything else. Not many people would have been willing to try after seeing a loved one like that. A lot of people would have ran away, called 911, and hid. And you didn't. You fought for him when you were at your most vulnerable. And that is truly incredible. And that makes you an amazing daughter.

Something truly similar happened when we found my brother. He was face down, unresponsive. My mother and I did CPR and kept the time. We continued when the paramedics came. We tried and tried. He was pronounced dead at the hospital an hour later. And I see the spot where he died every morning and I feel horrid. I feel like I failed as a sister. That if I did this, that, and that other thing he'd still be alive. But that isn't how death and illness works. We have no control over that time. And it's horrible.

You're in shock right now. Especially since you found him. It's completely normal and okay to not feel like it all really happened. It's okay to forget. I promise. Our minds do not accept such things at the speed we think it must. Right not, your main concern needs to be you. If you're not ready to see family; you have no obligation. You did your work. You did your fighting. Now, you need to find some peace yourself. The world can remain an irrelevancy for a while. You cannot.

I am so sorry this happened. I am so sorry you found him. I know how hard that is. My thoughts are with you, and I am sending you all of my love. You did all you could. And you're amazing for that, okay?

- Grey