Some people don't agree with the marriage builders website, but I find the section on forgiveness to be very enlightening. I think there is a direct connection between FEELING forgiveness in your heart for someone who has wronged you, and the "penance" that they pay for the indiscretion.

I believe it is a human trait. You wanting him to "beg" is the payment that you require, because you don't have any idea how you can possibly forgive him and move forward. Your subconscious just knows that some retribution must be had. Cheating on you isn't "free", and you'll be damned if your just going to let him off so easily, just because it was "a long time ago.". Just because it was so many years ago doesn't make it fade away any easier.

The marriage builders website talks about "Just Compensation". Until your subconscious feels that you have received "just compensation", you will have a very hard time moving forward.

He seems to think that all he has to do is wait until you are ready to forgive him. If just compensation for you is this simple, then fine. But it doesn't sound like it is. He need to know that.

I don't know what "just compensation" is for you. It was so long ago that he can't make any of the symbolic gestures, like changing jobs, cutting off all ties with the woman, or whatever, because all of those things happened already.

If you want him back, and you want a renewed love with him, then he is going to have to want it too, and you are going to have to work together to figure out what "just compensation" will be required to begin the road to recovery. Check it out here:

Forgiveness:

Can't We Just Forgive and Forget? #1

Infidelity:

Steps to Recover from an affair/infidelity in marriage