Can someone please tell me how one individual can be such an effin epic failure at virtually everything?

So here I am at mid life and I have no talents.

Everything I've tried to do ends in frustration and failure.

Sports--Forget it. Way too uncoordinated and poor reflexes

Dance--Again, uncoordinated and can't stand having anyone touch me or be in my space.

Crafts---Can't even understand basic knitting. Went to a class, watched videos on youtube. Had to replay videos a million times, still making nothing but a knotted mess. Meanwhile, my classmates are halfway through their projects.

Writing---Had some lucky breaks but can't seem to get anymore paid work. Nothing I write appeals to people who are hiring and what's worse, it's been a full year since I've had anything published so it's almost like starting over from scratch.

It's not like I don't try. If something interests me I will try it. Problem is I don't learn fast. I'm that idiot that you have to show the same basic simple step to a hundred and one times and maybe I'll kinda sorta get it.
Next thing I know, frustration levels rise to an epic proportion and then, well, forget it. I want to keep going to master whatever it is being taught but frustration has clouded my brain to where learning cannot take place. Before I know it, I reminiscing about all my other fantastic failures in life and how I have no special talents of any sort. Once I start down that road it becomes a pity party.

I mean really, all I'm somewhat good at is housework and turning out mediocre meals. Oh, yeah, I'm good at watching TV and sleeping.

I don't know if it's a learning disability, or what but I don't seem to learn anywhere near as easily as other people do. Did you remember running and skipping as a child? I remember trying to figure out how to skip and then looking like a complete fool. Do you remember learning basic fractions in elementary school? I remember getting so upset that I threw the math textbook against the wall. WTF???????

I don't really expect anyone to offer a magic answer. I just needed to rant. I feel so sh*tty and worthless and what's worse, I don't know why I can't figure out such simple stuff that others seem to be able to do so naturally.