Anyone who is this set in his ways and refuses counseling, is not planning on changing. He sees nothing wrong with the way he is treating you and there is no reason for him to change because you are taking the abuse. I really feel for you because I see your issues for not being able to leave, but I wouldn't expect any change in your situation. I"m sorry if this seems harse, but I've been there and took it until I had to leave. I'm sorry anyone has to go through what you are going through.
Gayle