One place to start may be with a lawyer, for YOU, usually you can get a first meeting/assessment of the situation without paying. After that, if you decide to fight for yourself, take money from the joint account and open Your Own account. ((If you need to go to a safe house/shelter during this time do so))----He really is not going to change no matter what you do, in fact, trying to "appease" him will likely escalate the situation as he seems to feed off of your fear and dependence. I am so sorry----you really have to take action to get out of this unless you are willing to put up with being abused for the rest of your time with this man. take care. There are obviously people here who have been in your situation and may be able to give some helpful advice. My heart goes out to you.