Hello everyone,

I'm so sick of feeling anxious all the time. I have generalised anxiety disorder. Been like this for about a year and a half now.

I mainly worry about being poisoned; so I'm constantly wiping my mouth or worrying that I'm breathing in fumes of chemicals that could kill me. I wash my hands a lot. I worry when I walk past people who are coughing, I worry when trees blow pollen in case it's poisonous to me. I have dyed hair and it's a real struggle to dye it, I try to leave it as long as possible in case I have become allergic to it, then I usually have a panic attack and have to wash it off quickly. I can't stroke my cats any more. There's so much...

I can't take medication; I'm terrified of side effects or allergic reaction.

I have started to worry that food and water could be tainted. I'm trying to deal with that, I don't want to become one of these people who won't eat or drink anything without having a panic attack.

I had a real problem with panic attacks earlier in the year. That's eased off slightly. But I still get out of breath a lot. I'm out of breath as I'm typing this.

I really want this to stop and I don't understand why I can't just control my own mind. Part of me thinks it would be better to just die. But it's the one thing I'm terrified of. I used to be really carefree, fun and spontaneous. I'm nothing like I used to be. I try to hide my anxiety from people now as I feel stupid, nobody understands if I do talk to them about it, they don't know what to say. I'm always on edge.

Someone help me please.