Hi, Thanks for all the responses...its nice to be heard!...You know since yesterday I've been kinda waiting for the big cloud of desparation and depression to settle on me...as that was always the way its been for me....whenever I've had to deal with tough issues like this...but this time it feels different...like a part of me is stronger now and I DO know at some level that T is just human and will experince times of not wanting to see me or sit with me...just like I have moments like that with my own children...

I think because of past issues this had grown into a monster inside my head and its never been touched upon by the adult I am now today...its been stuck with my child part...still wondering who will take care of me? if the people who are supposed to be are not wanting to be there (adoption issues)....

I'm glad this has come up and I;m glad I have a good therapist that will help me through this in a proper fashion unlike yrs ago...

I also do not feel so ashamed anymore of having these needs....I am begining to accept them and understand they should have been met a very long time ago but werent and now I can do something about that!

MYSELF. ...The adult part of me sees things the way you describe also but I have child parts that don't and thats the reason I am in therapy...If I never had to work on these issues or they never arose...I wouldnt really need therapy LOL....