Hi, Torn--

I very much empathize with what you're saying here. Honestly, there's no way I could have learned to trust my therapist on just one hour a week with her making herself available to me in between sessions. I did not realize I needed this, but as it turns out, it's been huge.

My other favorite therapist (who worked with me in college) was awesome but I could only see her every other week and therefore despite really liking her as a person, never opened up much. Oh, a little here and there...but never anything more. Again, I had no idea what I needed.

With my current therapist, I was falling apart at the seams long before I was contacting her as frequently as I do (daily.) I have specifically told her that it seems like a cruel joke that I am supposed to walk in her office, open a box of worms, and then leave before it's resolved and have to spend the week picking up the pieces of myself, only to do it again 7 days later. It does feel like repeating my own abandonment trauma, over, and over, and over, and over. I am finally moving past this (I think?) but only, ONLY because I am starting to trust that I really can contact her whenever I need to, so I do it pre-preemptively now and thus my breakdowns have gotten to be fewer in number and more manageable at the time. I am starting to understand that she is my "person." I will probably start seeing her twice a week in the future to really deal with some ugly stuff.

As for your situation...it's a toughie! I guess you need to be frank about this with your therapist. I should also say, congrats to you for figuring out what you need; this is a huge step! So, how would it feel to be totally honest with him, knowing that he may not change his stance? Talk yourself through his possible responses and be prepared for the worst. What IS the worst case scenario? Would you need a different therapist who can give you what you need? Or can you work it out with this one? Only you can decide. I wish you the very best as you navigate this!