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Old Jul 30, 2013, 02:32 AM
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healingme4me healingme4me is offline
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: New England
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rolan86 View Post
Yeah, I don't really want to do anything, but my grandma is really excited about planning a party, and is putting a lot of work into it, so I'm just gonna go through with it. Just inviting any one I can. I think it might be actually be kinda cool. I mean they are all good friends of mine so it should be fun.

Except I have one problem... There is a good friend of mine, well sort of good friend? I really don't know anymore. I've known him since kindergarten, and he's always been a friend of mine, but as the years went by, I just couldn't stand being around him. Way too judgmental of me, judging everything I say, correcting me nonstop, etc. I just feel like I'm walking on eggshells whenever I talk to him. He is also always telling me I should try drugs, especially psychedelics, which is a topic that gives me extreme anxiety, and that I don't like to talk about.

Definitely a subject I wouldn't want to talk or hear about when I'm with my family on my birthday. He's way critical of me, especially how I usually spend my birthdays, which are with my family. It's just what I like to do, I enjoy being with my family on the birthday, since it is such a special day.

However, for him, birthdays should be more about going out and getting wasted and partying and such.

Last year was bad. He wanted to go out on the town with me, and party and such, but I had told him I was with family, and he got extremely pissed off at me, telling me I can't keep having birthdays like this, and even insulted my family, not terribly, but just calling them weird and such. That really upset me. Having to have this text argument with him on my birthday just sort of ruined the whole day for me. Because he is so critical of me, and my family, I last year just chose to have friends over and just not invite him. But now, I am just really divided if I should invite him or not. I really don't want to invite him, because I actually want to enjoy my birthday, without him constantly telling me how lame my party is that my family is all there, and how I should be at a bar or club (for my 21st), and just making me feel bad. I want to just have the party and not tell him. but he will probably text me on my 21st saying he wants to take me to a bar or something. then what? just tell him I'm busy? Lie and say I am just out with my family when I'll actually be having other friends over? I don't want to lie. I'm sure one of my friends will post a photo without me knowing of my party to facebook, which he'll see, which will be a nightmare. I don't want to end up in that situation, so I'm considering just inviting him, and maybe there being the chance he will be out of town. I know this sounds bad, but I just don't feel comfortable with him being around my family, since he is so judgmental.
Sounds like, most everyone is going to be there. Inviting him, doesn't sound like a bad consideration, due to that whole social media FB, possibility. Better that he's invited, than left out, kwim?

Since, everyone is going to be there, how about a no text policy? Sorry, not accepting texts, tonight? That will help, where last year, your friend was out of line with you, on your day!

Another thing, about the constant pressure to be like him. You don't want to, so just say, listen, I've said it once, and this be my last time saying it, No, and if you ask me again, I am going to have to stop our friendship. It's apparent, to me, reading this post, that you've plenty of other friends to do things with.

I think, it's rather normal, to want to do things with family. I like spending time with family(well, certain members of my family ) and I know of plenty of others, that like to do the same. For my 21st, that day, I was literally in school, so my family time was spent either the weekend before or the weekend, after.

I hope, whatever decision you make, surrounding this friend, works out for you, and that you really do have a great birthday!!