Money, money, money. If there is one thing that can quickly turn people against each other, it is money!

Not that I don't understand your situation and all the pressures that you are facing, but if you had made an agreement to pay back money at a certain time, then that should have been a priority. If you knew you could not meet that agreement, then another compromise should be worked out. I know this will sound mean, but would you have forgotten to make your car payment, or rent, etc?

Oftentimes, we feel we can let slide, favours (especially money favours) that have come from family or friends, especially when money is tight. They are often the last ones considered on the list of IOU's.

I'd be pissed too, not so much about the money (in my case), but because I was forgotten (as in your case), or ignored, or just plain blown off as if I didn't really "count." Respect may be the bigger issue here now.

I think your sister is probably just as stressed (her life, her son, losing you (believe it or not), etc.) as you are, and is transferring alot of her anger onto you. She also may need the money now as you did when you received it.

However, one thing that can really set people off is money issues. Whenever I lend money, I never expect it back (that way, I am not so disappointed and it also limits the amount I am willing to totally let go of), but what really bugs me is when that friend doesn't take my loans as seriously as their other obligations, or start to ignore me because they cannot meet their obligations.

When I borrow money, I always try to, at the very least, make a gesture of payment (no matter how small the amount is). If I cannot even do that, then I believe they are owed some sort of explanation. If it comes with a chastising, then I take it, because, after all, I am the one who screwed up, not them. And if that chastisement came in the form of "how you ought to spend your money," then so be it. Of course it will %#@&#! you off, that is exactly what she is trying to do to you!

And apparently, you aren't so F'IN FREE, 'cause you still have obligations to meet. When you have finished that, then you will be F'N FREE (of her, at least, financially speaking).

And I know sisters, they can be relentless, especially when they feel they have been wronged. I got 2 of them, too, both just as rigid when it comes to money...

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but I'm now taking crap for doing things like buying Christmas presents (like I can show up at her house empty handed, or I would have heard about that too).

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If you are having financial difficulties, then maybe your sister is right in that you ought to be setting priorities.

Who gives a crap if your sister does not receive a gift. If she cannot handle that and starts to give you grief, then just tell her you are prioritizing your money and this year, a present just wasn't in the budget (unless, of course, she would prefer a gift over a payment of the loan).

Money only goes so far and sometimes, luxuries, like ODing on Christmas gifts in lieu of financial obligations just does not make sense. After all, do you think the Mortgage company or vehicle finance company, or any financial institution is going to let you "slide" just because it is christmas and you moved and you just started working at a new job or that you are depressed? Hardly. All they want is their money, and on time. Borrowing from anyone else should be considered the same - the law sees it that way - so should you.

And I just don't get it. If you have such a precarious relationship with your sister, why on earth would you want to spend time with her? Would it not just aggravate things? Can you really afford it anyway, in terms of your health and your finances?